Personal Thoughts

http://krishnah.deviantart.com

Je sais que c'est l'article banal "parlez moi de votre première fois" mais c'est surtout parce que j'ai besoin d'aide. Ma première fois va venir cette été....(pour ceux qui suivent un peu...la miss pour qui j'ai écrit les derniers articles eh ben pour finir elle a découvert des sentiments réciproques pour moi...et puis ben elle va venir chez moi cette été pendant deux semaines et ca me stress parce que je sais qu'on va aller jusqu'au bout. Donc si je pourrais avoir de vos conseilles j'en serrait très reconnaissante!! merci a toutes et a tous!

Your name keeps on multiplying on my page
I'm lost in my feelings
I no longer know what I want
I no longer know what I feel
Why did I lose myself in this?
Why do I want out when you want it?
Please don't cry, please don't feel pain
The one who has gone wrong is me
The one who has fucked up is me
I wish your pretty face hadn't been pulled into this
In this whirpool which keeps on spinning
Where is the way out? How can I keep you away from this pain?
How come when I write these words the ony thing I want is to be with you?
Could all these doubts mean love?
But then what could we make of the sentence, "si tu te pose la question c'est que tu ne l'es pas"?
The pain used to be from not having
Now it's from almost having and not knowing
I no longer know what I want
If this is just lust would it hurt so much?
If I'm having all these doubts, is it cause of fear?!
Is it the same pattern which forms itself again?
Will I start looking for the negatifs now that I've seen the positifs too long?
I'm scared of losing you and scared of getting lost in these thoughts
I don't know what to do and I don't know where to turn
Should I keep going in this doubt?
Just wait and see what happens when we're once again united?
I've been told that it's the best thing to do
So we'll just let time decide on it...

I had a revelation a couple of minutes ago...i might actually be bi! Because i realise that maybe it's just that i haven't found that right guy! I haven't found the guy that will be sweet and since i have a vision of guys that are ONLY mean who can be violent who have no emotions what will happen when i find the guy that isn't like that?! but i also thought that i'm not completly hetero because if i was I couldn't be in love with the girl that has got me hooked for a while! So girls i am not letting that go i will stay open to finding a girl but a guy....i really don't cross that out because if i am able to find one and the fact to know that that person wo i thought was insensible loves me.....i would actually like that and not e distgusted or what so ever- This may not be very clear but i had to write it cause i'm pretty lost but all that to say i'm at the time where i actually think i'm bi.....if any one else also has these ups and downs and not knowing what you really are write to me if you want! i really want to know how others handle this and what they do!
kisses to all of ou!

As time passes this feeling only gets stronger
When I dont talk to you i feel how much i miss you
When you're on I can't wait to be able to see you
and then when i see you i just can't stay still
I think about you all the time!
Why did i have to fall for someone so perfect
Why did i have to fall for the person that would never be mine???
Why ? Why can't I just, for once, find someone that loves me in return
Is it me the problem? I wish i knew...but it wouldn't change anything for now
Cause there is only one person that i want and that's her
my princess, the one i love, the one i'll never have...


picture is by rache_engel it's name is point_of_imagination (on deviantart)